just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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