I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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