She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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