I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
