Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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