Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
this is an emotional support booty call
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
