I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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