He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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