Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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