My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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