it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
