drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
