quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
