I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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