grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
