you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
