So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
