Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
