I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
