I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
