windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
