Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
