I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
