I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
