Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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