:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
