Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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