i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize