My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
