thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
