About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
why does every cop we meet know your name?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
