hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
