for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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