I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
sex in a hospital.. check
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
