The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
