You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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