using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
