I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
