Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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