So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize