This is the prime rib incident all over again
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
