the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
