Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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