sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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