Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
