a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
