sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I know her cup size but not her name....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
