i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
