My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
