Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
