yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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