Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
