my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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